5 FAQs About the No Contact Rule

no contact ruleAs I keep repeating throughout this website, the no contact period is extremely important in getting your ex back. However, people always seem to have some doubts about the no-contact rule. In this article, I am going to try to clear some of those doubts.

1. What if my ex moves on?

If you and your ex had a meaningful relationship, chances are that they will not move on and they will not get over the breakup. They are probably going to have a lot of emotions after the breakup. And even if they do move on, you still have a chance of getting back together. It’s easy to reignite the spark if you are not being needy or clingy. One of the advantages of no-contact rule is that you will also “sort of” move on. And if you two do get back together, it will be a brand new relationship, not the old one which ended up in a breakup.

2. What if they find someone else?

It doesn’t matter even if they start dating Adonis or Aphrodite. If it is a rebound relationship, it will probably get over sooner than you think. It might just be a good thing if they get into a rebound relationship and find themselves thinking about you. It’s only going to convince them that they are still in love with you. You just need to wait it out and make your move at the right time. The fact is, even if you stay in contact with them, you are not going to be able to stop them from getting into a new relationship. The more you tell them not to do it, the more they will be tempted to do it. So, it’s better to just stay no-contact during their rebound relationship and work on yourself.

3. I don’t want to make my ex upset by not contacting them?

Really? They broke up with you and you are afraid that if you don’t contact them, they might get upset? It sounds like you are just letting them run all over you. Listen, if you two are broken up, then you are not liable to talk to them, respond to their texts, or even return their calls. It’s not being rude unless you call them and tell them “I hate you, you m***** b*****.” Just take it easy on yourself and if you still think it’s rude, then just call them and let them know you need time and space and you will not be contacting them and you don’t want them to contact you for some time. If you are worried that your ex will never contact you again, give them a time frame (like a few weeks or a month) and let them know they can contact you after that time.

4. How will they know how much I’ve changed if I don’t tell them?

OK, you are not supposed to change yourself just to show your ex. If you are trying to change yourself for your ex, then even if you do get back together, you are probably going to end up in a breakup again. If you really think that you need to change something about yourself that will make YOUR life and YOUR future relationships better, then and only then you should work on it. For example, if you think you suck at communicating and expressing your feelings clearly, then it’s good to work on it. On the other hand, if your ex didn’t like your dog, and you are thinking of getting rid of him just for your ex, then you are doing a big mistake.

change after breakup

Seriously, don’t even think about it. Dogs are adorable.

Your ex will see it after the no-contact period. That’s the whole point of step 3 of the UnBreakup guide. If you try to show your ex all the awesome things you are doing in your life, you are just going to come off as desperate. The best way to let your ex know you’ve changed is say nothing. Let them find out on their own. Telling them you’ve changed would just seem like telling them “I have changed for you, now will you please come back because I am miserable without you”, which is a big mistake.

5. How will I know what my ex is doing with their life?

The whole point of the no contact rule is to just let go of your ex for a while and concentrate on yourself. If you don’t do it, you are just going to end up making all the mistakes listed in the UnBreakup Guide. You will get a chance to find out what your ex has been doing when you meet them again, for now, its best that you try to keep your ex away from your thoughts and concentrate on yourself.