One of the biggest dilemmas of the no-contact period is when your ex calls you. This is the time for you. You are not supposed to communicate with your ex. If you end up talking to them you are breaking the no contact rule. But, if you don’t answer the call, you might hurt your chances as your ex might build up a lot of resentment towards you. Not to mention it’s extremely hard to not pick up the phone when someone you desperately want to be with is calling you.
First of all, if you suspect your ex is going to call you during the no-contact period, it’s a good idea to let them know beforehand that you don’t want any communication for a short period of time. Explain it to them that you need some time and space for yourself as the breakup has been hard for you.
Still if you find yourself in a situation where your end up talking to your ex on the phone during the no-contact period, here are 5 rules that you must follow
Rule #1: No Relationship Talk
No conversation related to how you feel about them or how you feel about your relationship with them. This time period is meant for you, and not them. Talking to your ex about all these things is only going to mess up your own perspective. Besides, you might get into an argument with your ex if you talk about the past relationship.
This is extremely common, ex couples talk to each other on the phone, start talking about the relationship and end up fighting like they are still in the relationship. There is no point in talking about the relationship because it’s over. Even if you do get back together, it will have to be a new relationship.
Rule #2: Don’t Talk For Too Long.
Keep the conversation as short as possible. As a general rule, make sure it’s not more than 15 minutes. If you suspect it’s getting longer than it’s supposed to be, then you can make up an excuse and hang up. That’s the best part about phones, you can just tell them that you have something to do and end the conversation.
Rule #3: Be Upbeat
If you are feeling miserable when your ex calls, DO NOT answer the phone. You are only allowed to answer the phone when you are feeling good. If you pick up the phone and try to act happy, they are going to see right through it. After all, they were in a relationship with you and they know you quite a bit.
Rule #4: Talk To Them Like They Are an Acquaintance
Do not treat them like an ex, lover or even like a friend. Talk to them like they are an acquaintance that you are in good terms with. Make sure you are nice to them but do not make the conversation more personal than you would with an acquaintance.
Rule #5: No Talk about Dating
Do not ask them if they are dating. And if you are dating someone, do not tell them about it. If your ex is trying to tell you about their new relationship or wants to talk about your dating life, let them know that you don’t want to talk about it. If they ask why, just say that you don’t think it’s the right time to talk about it. Make sure your tone is cordial. You do not want to come off as jealous.
If they insist on asking questions, just make up an excuse and end the phone call. You are not liable to answer everything your ex asks. You are not in a relationship with them so don’t feel bad about not answering their questions or talking about things that you don’t want to talk about.
And remember, the no contact period is about you. Don’t let your ex ruin your recovery from the breakup. If you let them control you even during this time, you are just hurting your chances of getting back together and having a happy relationship with your ex.